guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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