I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
