her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
