Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
