he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
