brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
