On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
