i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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