She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
