the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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