I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
