He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
