Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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