gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
