well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
