you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
