your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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