is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
