I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
