Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
