we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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