mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
