SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
