This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
