It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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