There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
