none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
