I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
