i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
