so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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