i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
