He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
