dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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