if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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