ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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