you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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