I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
