Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize