umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
