that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
