How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
