I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
