You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
