Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
