Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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