I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This baby is an asshole
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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