we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
