the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
