i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
