either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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