I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
